Hell Week: A Dark Academy Bully Romance (Apple Valley Academy Book One) Page 6

  I squeeze his hand. “Good save,” I admit, as we jog toward the auditorium.

  I stop jogging and my abruptness causes Jovan to jerk his body back toward me, since I don’t release his hand before stopping.

  “So, we’re dating now?” I stare into his eyes, sucked into the peace they’re bringing my turbulent life.

  In the sunlight, the sea of color sparkles aquamarine. The contrast against his dark hair and pale skin causes my breath to hitch. I want to trace the curve of his cheekbones.

  “I’d like to...” He tugs me into him, embracing me tightly. “...unless you don’t want to see where all this is going?” He gives me a mock pout, but I don't laugh as he fumbles with my long braid. “I love your hair,” he says, to change the subject.

  My heart races and I want to run into his arms and away from him at the same time, but I don't. Instead, I force myself to be completely honest with him, even if it is painful. “Of course, I do,” I admit. “I just need to take things a little slower—the other night—I don’t usually move so fast.” The tips of my ears burn at revealing my awkwardness with intimacy. “I like you… so much, but—”

  ‘Don’t worry, I like you too Lana. For you.” He cuts off my painful speech, gently cupping my face in his hands, and forces me to meet his gaze. “Everything else will happen when you’re ready again.” He kisses the top of my head and holds me close to his chest, fumbling with my braid. “I know you’ve been through some shit before. We’ll go as slow as you want.” His voice is silky as the words he whispers caress my heart and soothe my soul.

  I want to open up to him without alcohol involved, and I believe Jovan will have the patience to help me heal from my past and become whole again.

  We kiss on the grass in front of the few students still outside, scurrying to get to the auditorium. The bell rings and we exchange surprised glances and bolt for the door.

  Chapter Eleven

  The guys go first during the big reveal to the student body of the Honorees. The Ceremony itself is pretty humiliating for a lot of the Honorees, depending on which Shadow Sponsors they’ve had to deal with. Several boys do the expected tap dance in front of everyone, gushing at how grateful they are to be at AVA.

  Blue nudges me, “Tommy’s next.”

  “He’ll do fine,” I reassure her as he takes the stage, and the Headmaster announces Jovan as his Shadow Sponsor.

  As he approaches the stage, Jovan gives me a wink, and I crinkle my nose at him and smile back. I glance over at Jasmine who looks as if she will explode any minute. Her neck and face are beet red, and a maniacal smile is plastered on her face. I take smug satisfaction in knowing it irks her that Jovan and I are dating.

  Jovan keeps his speech short, telling the student body that he expects remarkable things from Tommy, how all minds are created equal, and that a lack of wealth shouldn’t hinder a brilliant mind from getting educated

  “He’s a keeper,” Blue whispers to me.

  “I know,” I sigh.

  Jovan’s friends, Steve and Davis, motion Tommy to sit with them when he leaves the stage. Jovan announces sponsorship for the girls will happen next, and Jasmine makes a big show of getting up slowly, and smoothing her uniform. She waits by the side of the stage for Jovan to leave, clasping his hand in a disguised show of solidarity for the Honorees.

  Gina’s name is announced, and Jasmine puts her through her paces in front of everyone. I’d feel sorry for her if I didn’t know in my gut, she was the one who put that stupid bucket on my bed.

  After Gina, her friend, Abby, takes the stage, and April is a little kinder than Jasmine but not by much. Two more girls get their scholarship awards, then it’s Blue’s turn.

  ‘Don’t be nervous. You’ve got this girl.”

  She nods reluctantly and heads up to the stage. Blue is funny as hell, cracking jokes, and her Shadow takes it in stride, but Tommy wants to hide under his seat by the look on his face. I cheer and howl the loudest, and Jovan keeps tilting his head, making faces at me. I stifle a laugh, and suddenly realize I'm the last girl to get called. Jovan claps loudly for me as I walk up to the stage to accept a gift from a monster. A gift that will change my life.

  After the ceremony I look around for Jovan, but I don’t see him. Even during the presentation, he went MIA after Meribelle takes to the stage. I glance a few times over to where he’s been sitting, but the seat remained empty.

  My stomach tightens as if a vice grip is clamping down on my core. I will myself to calm down, and slip out of the auditorium, heading for the bleachers where we are supposed to meet. I hope he’s over there and hasn’t had some sort of emergency.

  To my relief, Jovan is under the bleachers pacing back and forth. His cheeks suck in and out as he pulls hard on a cigarette.

  “Hey you.” I call out to him. “Why’d you run out early. Didn't you want to see my big acceptance speech?” I tease, flashing him a big smile. “I handled it like a real trooper, if I don’t say so myself.”

  As I move in closer to him, Jovan takes two steps backward, recoiling from my touch. He never takes his intense gaze off me as he takes one last drag from his cigarette, then crushes it underneath his foot.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask him, concerned that he may have received unwelcome news about his court case.

  “Don’t touch me. Ever. Again.” He narrows his eyes and his top lip lifts into a menacing sneer.

  “What the hell’s gotten into you?” I blink rapidly as his words stun me and sting my heart. “Did I embarrass you or something?” I question, playing my acceptance spiel back in my head.

  “I don’t know what your game is or why you want to mess with my family, but it won’t work.”

  Your family?

  “I don’t understand what you mean?” I say honestly, and attempt to approach him again. This time I manage to put my palm on his arm, but he jerks hard away from me.

  “You know exactly what I mean. What’s your game? White trash needs money, so you make up some bullshit to blackmail me?”

  What? Wait… Your family?

  The thought shakes me to my core. “You’re related to Meribelle?” I whisper the words so low. I can’t hear the sound as it escapes my lips. My knees weaken and I feel as if I’ll collapse where I stand.

  His neck turns bright red as anger races up him face. “Stop with the games. You fucking know Meribelle is my cousin.” Before I can respond Jovan thrusts his arm forward and grips my neck. He uses the full force of his body to shove me backward and tightens his hold on my throat, pushing his hand upward and causing my head to tilt backward as the angle of my chin cuts off my airway.

  My lungs want to explode. I try to scream, to gasp for air, but nothing comes out of my mouth. My arms flail wildly trying to knock him off me, but my blows land on his back and don’t do much damage. My horizon wobbles as everything in my peripheral vision dims and blackness closes in. As a last-ditch effort, I focus my gaze on his eyes, and for a brief moment, he peers into mine. I see a flash of uncertainty behind his crazed glare, then Jovan thrusts me backward, releasing his stranglehold.

  “Shit,” his voice is low and strained. He clenches his fists at his sides and takes an easy step toward me as if he’s come to his senses.

  I immediately move away from him, coughing and spitting. I gasp hard trying to fill my lungs as quickly as possible. Panic sets my heart beating quicker than I can count, and my lungs feel restricted, causing me to heave as I try to catch my breath.

  “You're crazy,” I manage to say through labored breaths.

  His facial features soften as he steps towards me again, but I don’t trust him. Instinctively, I put distance between us and swing my purse in front of me to block him from getting closer to me.

  “I’m not going to—” Jovan hesitates, “I want you out of here.”

  “Fuck you!” I yell at him.

  He lunges forward as if he’s going to push me, or worse, but he stops short.

  I stumble backward fa
lling on my butt.

  “Today.” He looms over me, stabbing the ground with his tip of his foot.

  I fear he will kick me in his crazed state, so I ball up on the ground and cover my head with my arms. White hot tears sting my eyes. No. No! This can’t be happening. I peek through my forearms to see what he’s doing.

  Jovan’s pacing again as if he’s a caged animal. He lights another cigarette, and his nervous, jagged, movements set my heart in a deeper panic as he watches me on the ground.

  “Get up,” he says. His voice sounds unrecognizable to my ears, as if a complete stranger is standing in front of me, even though he speaks in a softer tone.

  I prop myself up and sit in silence with my arms resting between my bent open legs.

  His family.

  “He’s your father, isn’t he?” I say, more as a statement than a question. The guy I felt so close to, have shared my darkest secrets with and given my body to, is the son of the man who has molested me and ruined my life.

  “He’s your fucking father!”

  Jovan thrusts his leg forward purposely, but doesn’t connect the blow. I scramble backward, scooting my butt as fast as I can to get away from him, but my gangly movements cause me to fall flat on my back.

  He presses his foot near my face to drive home his point.

  “Say that shit you told me again!’ he threatens. “Say it ever again and I will destroy you.”

  His foot seems to move in slow motion backward, as if this time he’s really going to kick me in the face. I clamp my eyes shut tight, squeezing them closed as hard as I can, as though I can actually hide from his blow.

  “Leave Lana...” His voice sounds weary, like his words are more of a plea than a threat. “...or you’ll regret it,” he whispers.

  My mind is reeling as time ticks in slow motion, waiting for his foot to crush my face. I force my eyes open to confront his attack and fight back, popping to my feet, but he is gone. My body lurches onto the beam of the bleachers, totally spent. I let out a low guttural howl of pain and regret. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that Meribelle’s uncle is his father.

  I clasp the pole to steady my weak legs.

  Jovan’s father. Tears fall slow and steady as an eerie calm takes over. I don’t blink or move. I stand there and let the tears fall, but no matter how many cascade down my face, I can’t find any relief.

  Kids are milling about outside, and I don’t want them to see me like this. I don’t want them to see me at all. I take off running for my dorm and move so fast my lungs burn from the lack of oxygen, but I don’t stop until I reach my room.

  Everything I think I know about myself, about Jovan, is a lie—a horrible nightmare of a lie—and if I don’t leave this godforsaken place, my entire world will come crashing down.

  I throw myself on my bed and burst out in a fit of rageful tears, screaming as I thrash my body on my bed. A sharp pain causes my breath to hitch as sobs rack my body. I feel betrayed… violated all over again. The thought of Jovan kissing me, touching me, entering my body, makes me both ache for his touch, and want to scrub myself raw.

  I don’t want to blame him for the sins of his father.

  But he’s fucking blaming me, taking that monster’s side, after he has wholeheartedly admitted to me what an asshole his father is. How can he be so cold to me and not even hear my side of the story? How can I be so stupid as to get involved with anyone here, before I know what is going on.

  Images of his face, happy and smiling as we splash around in the water, war with the menacing sneer of him choking the life out of me. I know in my heart that he hurt me in a fit of rage, but it brings me little comfort. He hates me. Wants me gone. I pound my fists on the bed. I have no idea how I feel about him. How can my heart still want him and my body ache for his touch?

  I feel betrayed by him.

  By his father.

  And by my own mother, for leaving me here alone in this world to deal with this bullshit.

  But most of all, I feel betrayed by my own emotions.

  Memories flash in my mind of Jovan’s father playing music and dancing with me. I’m so small… he takes me by the hands and twirls me around the room. One of the few memories that doesn’t haunt me straight out the box, until I remember all the other ugly things he did to me.

  One memory threatens my sanity as it plays like a horror movie in my mind and I gasp pulling at my hair.

  We’re at the office building where my mother worked, but this she isn’t cleaning. My mother is dancing with him too.

  Bits and pieces of memories fall like shards of glass, my mother applying her lipstick and dancing so close… and she kisses him.

  She fucking kissed him!

  I jump off the bed and run to the bathroom, peeling my clothes off in a flurry of desperate need to wash myself clean. I turn the hot water on and catapult under the water’s jets. The water doesn’t run warm immediately and the cold stream sends shivers down my spine. I scrub my skin, washing away the evil memories.

  Washing away my mother's betrayal.

  The water warms to an uncomfortable level of heat, but I keep scrubbing as it scolds my skin, washing away my gnawing need for Jovan and any traces of his touch.

  Chapter Twelve

  “What are you doing?” Blue’s voice rings shrill in my ears.

  She yanks me hard out of the water and grabs a towel from the basket, wrapping me safely in it.

  “It’s so bad.” I shake my head repeatedly.

  “What happened? Did someone die?”

  The question stuns me. Did someone die? Yes! I want to scream. I died, with my mother, a long time ago. I died today, when that monster once again reached his bony fingers out and thrust them into my life, ruining me all over again, but I’ll be goddamned if I let him continue to kill me over and over.

  “I’m fine,” I lie, and straighten myself up. “I had an allergic reaction to something I ate and my skin itches so bad, I thought the hot water would help.” I can’t face the truth right now, let alone share it with Blue.

  I’m over feeling sorry for myself at the moment. I want answers. I want to know exactly what kind of relationship that son of a bitch has had with my mother. All these years, I’ve thought I’ve killed her, and maybe I did, but if her relationship with Jovan’s father has had anything to do with her depression… if he’s hurt her and me. I swear I’ll kill him if it’s the last thing I do.

  I slip into my nightgown and lie on my bed. Blue yells at the girls to be quiet, so I can rest. I call her over to me and give her a big hug.

  ‘What’s that for?” Her face lights up at my display of affection. “Awww, never mind, I’ll take it,” she says, and gives me a tight hug in return. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

  I don’t argue with her. After everything that’s happened today, I feel as if I can sleep for a million years. One thing I know for sure, Jovan Daniels will not run me out of this school, before I get the answers I need to bury his father.

  I apply my makeup with robotic movements, and slip into my one and only nice evening dress. Shame caves my chest and slumps my shoulders, threatening to have me retreat to my bed, for yearning to look nice and catch Jovan’s attention. I want to kick myself for still feeling drawn to him, even though we are in an unfixable situation. In fleeting little moments, I think of him, but those thoughts quickly turn sorted and ugly. What’s the matter with me! I don’t want to feel his magnetic pull, but I do, and it weakens my resolve, until I think of his father, and then I can’t stand the thought of either of them.

  “Alright don’t laugh,” Blue says, and steps out of the bathroom stall in a long black dress that’s hugging her Rubenesque curves in all the right places.

  “Whoo hoo, hot mama,” I exclaim, trying my best to forget Jovan and be happy in the moment. “You look fabulous,” I gush.

  “You think so—”

  I cut Blue off. “I know so!”

  Her blue eyes shine, lighting up m
y heart. I sink into her positive energy and allow her happiness to wrap around me, shielding me from the ugly truths of my life. “Now, let’s get some makeup on that pretty face,” I insist, and guide her to the vanity where I have my cosmetics laid out.

  “You mean my ugly mug,” she says and laughs, but the hurt in her eyes carries more weight than the deception behind her laugh.

  “You’re not ugly, Blue. I see that. Steve sees it too,” I say, and shoot my eyebrows up at the same time she does. “You know it’s true,” I tease.

  “Stop,” she says, and slaps my thigh, then whispers, “You think so?”

  The uncertainty in her voice breaks my heart. I don’t know if Steve is a good guy or not, but Blue has hit it off with him, and I won’t stand in the way of her happiness, even if he’s close friends with Jovan.

  “I know so.” I reassure her. “Now, let’s get you dolled up and give those skinny bitches a run for their money, my curvy queen.”

  I don’t wait for her answer, and Blue doesn’t argue. She nods her head, and I go to town, framing her eyes with a sultry dark eyeliner and dust her lids with a hint of color. “See how beautiful you are.” The gold flecks in her dark blue eyes stand out against the shimmery eyeshadow. “Look how the blue pops now,” I say, after a few coats of mascara.

  Blue studies herself in the mirror, a faint smile curls the corners of her lips. “Not too shabby,” she admits. “...but my hair is whack,” she says, and frowns.

  Gina and Abby come in the bathroom and eye Blue. “You two look nice,” they offer in unison.

  I have no intention of humoring Jasmine’s lap dogs, and simply say, “You too.”

  Keeping my focus on Blue, I work some hair gel through her dark hair, sweeping it off her face, and then search the countertop for a few barrettes. I loosely clip the sides of her hair back and work some darker blush into the faint hollows of her cheeks, creating cheekbones where there are none, and dusting a highlight of sheer bronzer over the apples of her cheeks.

  I step back and rest my chin on my hand, studying her overall appearance. The makeover is striking.